Geek Fantasy Novel by E. Archer

Author:E. Archer [Archer, E.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-545-33248-4
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Published: 2011-07-15T16:00:00+00:00

They clasped hands. “Ready?” Ralph asked. Cecil nodded.

“So,” Cecil said, drawing a big breath. Then he scratched his head. “Who’s going to knock?”

Ralph pushed open the door.

The Duchess was reclining on a throne at the opposite end of a large chamber, watching the entranceway with a fiendish yet disengaged glare, to all appearances bored at an execution. She wore a sheer white gown with a gold circlet around her waist.

“I suppose you think you’re going to stop me,” she said. “All that heroic nonsense.”

“Hello, Chessie,” Cecil said.

“Duchess.” Ralph bowed.

“Welcome to my Hall of Treasures.” Chessie gestured about her. Ralph saw that the chamber’s name was apt. Grand bookcases and curios cluttered the room and obscured the walls. They were filled to capacity with trinkets: porcelain elementals, stoneware ogres, matching griffon/hippogriff salt and pepper shakers, all lined three or four deep on bowing shelves.

“You will release the fairies you’ve been cruelly breeding!” Cecil proclaimed, in a tone that would have been most threatening had his voice not cracked at the end.

Chessie waved a hand. “Got it. But you’re ignoring all sorts of diplomatic procedures for these things.”

“The people say the kings who ruled this land before you were kind and just. They took only the fairies they needed. They were sporting — but you have been despotic! I will not bargain with you.”

“Despotic,” Ralph thought. Nice word.

Though she maintained her scowl, Chessie was unable to hide a shine of glee at how seriously Cecil was taking his wish. “Commerce is commerce. My kingdom is doing fantastically well, thanks to those fairies.” She sucked in her breath and stood up. “By ‘diplomatic procedures,’ I mean that you’re not supposed to go off ranting yet. There are some common niceties to observe first.”

“Oh.” Cecil bit his lip, then spoke up again. “What are these niceties? How would I observe them? If I decided to, of course.”

“Oh, a ‘how do you do, how have you been’ would have been nice. But beyond that, I have an offer to make that will render all of your bleating unnecessary.”

“I’m listening.”

“You would both make fantastic ornaments. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Cecil and Ralph shook their heads.

“I’ve been far too busy, you see. My collection hasn’t been updated in some time. So that’s the crux of it: I want to turn you into trinkets.”

“That’s your offer?” Ralph asked.

“No. And I will tolerate no more of your interference, Ralph. Let’s fast-forward past all your classless wheedling. I am speaking to my gallant nephew only. Now, Cecil, it is my grave duty to inform you that your older sister, precious Beatrice, has been transformed into one of these trinkets.”

“You’re lying,” Cecil said. But he obviously believed her. For that matter, Ralph believed her, too — Chessie had plenty of chances to be duplicitous before, yet had been remarkably up-front. This was the same woman, after all, who had so considerately given him advance notification of his own beheading.

“My offer is this: I allow you one guess as to which trinket is her.

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